My So Called Arabian Life

Lest you all think that I am only living the glamorous life, I will share with you some of the things that are uniquely different, and usually challenging, about living here in Dubai.  For those of you who are only interested in the exciting parts of our life - this is not for you.  You can skip this entry and continue on to our Oman trip (coming soon).  Here it is, the good, the bad, and the bizarre:

TELEVISION
Sure, we have American TV here.  I've particularly enjoyed re-watching the first season of House in completely random order.  I also have been able to catch up on some classics like "Keeping up with the Kardashians" and "Leave it to Llamas", and Augusto's favorite, "Dating in the Dark".  Oh - and the Bachelor is pretty current.  I love that Andrew Firestone.  You can get a device called a Slingbox, which will somehow magically (or through technology, unclear) forward your American TV here.  We don't have that yet.  You can also watch Soccer on 8 channels.  At all times.  Or, you can watch Arabic movies, which invariably involve some sort of deal with a very flamboyantly dressed devil which results in everyone breaking into song and dance.  If you are looking for an education, sometimes you can find an American movie on, but then the Arabic subtitles on the top and the French and Chinese subtitles below largely obscure the action.

GROCERIES
There are some very nice British markets - like Waitrose and Choithram - in which we can get many things we are used to having back home, plus other goodies like pickled gherkins.  Not sure what those are, but they take up almost an entire aisle in Waitrose, so they must be good.  The part of shopping that I find most challenging is that almost all of the grocery stores are located within a mall.  So, you park your car in the mall, grocery shop, and then push your cart back through the mall to your car.  Would be much easier if the floors weren't heavily waxed, causing inexperienced mall cart drivers to lose control of their purchases and crash into cellular phone carts in the middle of the mall (I'm just saying).  There is one "American" market called Safestway (not SAFEway) where you can pay 25DHS (or the equivalent of roughly $8) for Cheerios.  Trust me, it's worth it.  However, nowhere in the UAE seems to have Goldfish crackers.  My very kind friend from Texas actually gifted me a Costco sized goldfish box that she smuggled all the way from America.  I love her.

DRIVING
Too bad I didn't get licensed by Nascar before arriving.  Driving here is hazardous for many reasons.  1)All it takes for expats from many countries to get a license is an eye test.  2) They are CONSTANTLY changing the roads, and everything is under construction - so that exit ramp that you took yesterday may be totally gone, and the only warning is a single cone 5 feet before the exit.  This causes a lot of very rapid lane changing on everyone's part. 3) 50% of the people drive like either their asses are on fire and they need to get to water, or someone in the front seat of their car is in immediate danger of giving birth and they don't want to stain their leather.  I'm talking FAST!  And they weave in and out of the other 50% of the people who drive about 40 mph on the freeway.  All in all, it's pretty scary.  I'm surviving using skills I learned while skiing - the person in FRONT of you is totally in charge, and they may swerve, stop, flail or crash at any moment, so watch out! 

SERVICE
The service industry here is insane.  Everyone wants to help you, because it is their job to do so.  Perfect example is the mall - there are three guys wearing vests telling you where to park.  There are three guys who run up to you and ask to wash your car for you while you shop.  I have been asked if I need assistance pushing my cart through the grocery and retrieving items from the shelves.  Then, your groceries are bagged for you and someone wants to push the cart out to your car and unload it.  After a few near misses with the waxed floor (see above), I now allow them to do so.  They don't expect tips, although of course they are appreciated. At first, not wanting to impose on everyone - I acted like a three year old - "I CAN DO IT MYSELF!".  Then, I realized that these are truly jobs, and it's somewhat offensive to the people doing them to refuse help.  The groundskeeper at our house was completely scandalized when I strolled out in my very own backyard, fired up the bbq, and started scrubbing off the grill, while wearing my bikini (it was HOT people!) and having a beer.  He let out a strangled "MA'AM!!!" and tried to relieve me of the scrubber while not looking at me in my bathing suit - so he ended up backing up towards me and waving his hands behind his back. I also love that they deliver the dry cleaning.  I know - we have that service at home - but here the list of things you can have dry cleaned includes your Dishdasha, Gathra, Salwar Suit, Safari Suit (you know how dirty those safaris can be),  or your Salwar Khamis. 

WEATHER
Have we mentioned that it is hot here? 

BILLS
Paying bills is definitely different. You don't write checks and mail them, nor can you go on-line to pay them.  For cable (because I have to see what happens to Kim and Khloe) you have to pay at the mall (are you seeing a theme here?).  For electricity and water, you get to pay at the gas station.  For gas, we're not sure.  We got a bill but don't know how to pay it.  Last time the "gas guy" knocked on our door and said "Gas Guy. Your bill 350 dirhams.  You pay now." So we did.  Best not to take chances.  We're kind of hoping he comes around again, so they don't turn off our gas.  You also pay for a service contract on your home, so if anything goes wrong you call the service company.  They will then send anywhere from 8-10 men over to look at the problem.  Literally, they stand around and look at it.  After much deliberation they formulate a plan.  Sometimes, it's a good plan.  Sometimes it involves things like trying to tie two 12 foot step ladders together using string to make a 24 foot step ladder to try to reach the ceiling of the villa.

THE PHONES
Let's just say I feel very blonde when it comes to this little piece of technology I should have mastered back in the 1970's. All the phone numbers are different lenghts, different prefixes, and completely confound me.  Here are some examples:  Augusto is 55-454-0173. Home is 4-444-6656.  My friend Karen is 50-925-6419.  Sometimes you need to dial +971 beforehand, but I can't find a key with a "+" on my landline phone.  I have absolutely no idea what my own cell phone number is.  How does that happen?   So, if I never call you, it's because I really can't figure out how. 


Nevertheless, it is these little differences that make living here exciting.  We are still having a wonderful time, the kids love school, and all is well.  Thinking of everyone daily!!